


Lozenge Window

by lferion



Category: Liaden Universe - Sharon Lee & Steve Miller
Genre: F/M, Family, Gen, Introspection, M/M, Yuletide 2011, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-25
Updated: 2011-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-28 02:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/302815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lferion/pseuds/lferion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Pat Rin had been very small, that little triangular space with its irregularly shaped lozenge window and stubborn door had been his safe-place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lozenge Window

**Author's Note:**

  * For [james](https://archiveofourown.org/users/james/gifts).



> Many thanks to JT and #Yulechat for wrangling my commas and articles into submission.

* * *

On the rare occasions when Pat Rin traveled out to the end of the Road and and stayed overnight under the shadow of Jelaza Kazone, it was his habit to rise quite early, far earlier than he had been wont to do when Korval was still on Liad, and watch the sunrise. (This was of course only when Natesa had not stayed, for those even rarer mornings were to be cherished properly, and Pat Rin was never behindhand in that respect.) No, when he was alone, in the dim beginning of morning, he would rise and dress. He would not forget his slippers and dressing gown or coat or cloak against the chill, though the black space-leather jacket was never his choice, and make his way to the highest point in the house, there to watch the wan star that was Surebleak's sun spin up from the horizon.

In the house of his kin, under the shadow of the Tree, even Cheever and Natesa would let him walk unattended.

* * *

When he had been very small, that little triangular space with its symmetrical, irregular shaped window and stubborn door had been his safe-place, his hiding place, his fort and fortress. Even, once or twice very early on indeed, his piloting chamber from whence he flew out to the fairy-tale stars. His lady mother would not track him here, up the steep stairs and along the board-wide catwalk suspended over the beams and plaster expanses that were the upper side of the ceilings of the contract suite, and all the way over the far-wing upper-floor collection of rooms that made up the visitors nursery and attendant's rooms. The beams were too wide for a child's legs to jump, and while the lath-and-plaster would support a cat stepping delicately, even a small person would fall right through. The rooms might be rarely used, but Mr pel'Kana would most surely notice such a mishap to the fabric of the house. And the fall itself, should one miss catching the beam again, would be dangerous and painful. His lady mother did not approve of dusty attic rooms. His lady mother did not approve of her son being at Jelaza Kazone without her rectifying presence, but in that she was over-ruled by the very Code she lived by. When the Delm spoke, the one obeyed.

* * *

Pat Rin as a child had found refuge in that place only a little more often than he had the opportunity to now. Pat Rin the halfling, failed of piloting and left largely to find his own way, had often escaped there when the level of tension rose too high. Then he had scrambled rather to get to the place, though always careful of his clothes. It would not help at all if when he reappeared there were smuts on his face and dust on his trousers. He had not imagined anything on those visits, but sat on the wide sill of the window and looked out. Out and up. Away. He was of Korval if not a pilot of Korval, and not being a pilot, he could still take ship and fly, with someone else's hands on the pilot's board. He could fly and avoid the piloting chamber entirely, did he wish. That would require funds of his own. Which, he supposed, he had. And as he was not a pilot, the Delm (or First Speaker, or even his mother) would have little reason to care where he went or what he did, so long as it did not bring shame to the clan. Luken would care, so Pat Rin would consult him. And, he supposed, with the numbers of the clan so thin, he had best wait until his child was in the keeping of the clan. (now there was a strange thought, though of course he would have one, be contract-married for that very purpose. That was some years hence in any case.)

* * *

Once, just once, he brought another to that place. Vyv Lyn kel'Teslan, clan Auret was Festival-met, a man of whom Pat Rin's lady mother violently disapproved, despite Pat Rin being of an age where even if he had lived under her roof, she could not have forbidden him in law. Luken had not said anything against him, only bid him be careful, and gave him a hint or two on how to manage that. Pat Rin had been grateful for Luken's sense, as lubricant and germicidal barriers would never have occurred to him on his own at that age. Vyv Lyn had been perhaps a year older than Pat Rin, and far more experienced, but the attraction had been mutual. They had of course made good use of the Festival tents, but that had been exploring, touching and rubbing, kissing and sucking. They continued to see each other.

When Vyv Lyn had been posted to Voyaging Star and scheduled to leave Liad a fortnight hence, Pat Rin had decided they should make proper love. Rather than employing the safe anonymity of a mid-port hotel or similar impersonal location, Pat Rin also decided it should happen in that place which was most special to him. They had crept up the stairs carrying a blanket and pillow apiece, tiptoed over the catwalk, and wedged the door so firmly shut they had some difficulty opening it again. It was night, and the stars flamed in the sky through the window. Pat Rin had even (and this was what he felt was the very most daring thing) asked the Tree for it's blessing on the event, and received two seedpods in his hand almost before he finished asking. With the Tree's approval, Pat Rin had no fear at all of accomplishing his purpose. Vyv Lyn was surprised at the gift, but ate without reservation. And while Pat Rin had since slept with men with enjoyment and considerably less awkwardness, that memory held a sweetness and pleasure unique to itself. That was the only time they were able to be that intimate. Voyaging Star was lost with all hands, falling prey to the hazards of Jump, or pirates, or some other calamity that was never determined, as the ship was returning to Liad.

Er Thom had decided Pat Rin should be married shortly after then, and chose for him Pilot second class Veris kai'Ellet, clan Auret, over Kareen's considerable objections. (Pat Rin never knew what it was that his mother had against Auret, nor did he care particularly.) She had looked little like her clan-cousin, but sometimes Pat Rin saw a faint echo of Vyv Lyn in Quin.

* * *

After that, Pat Rin's visits to that window-space were rare indeed. He did not think he had been up there for some years before the Tree and the House were transported, one electron at a time, to Surebleak.

As he watched the sun rise, the long beams of light catching on the single working disk of the first of the planned mirror-arrays, Pat Rin looked around at the small space. He knew now that Mr pel'Kana, Jeeves, even Daav and Er Thom had long known of the room and it's importance to Pat Rin. They had never interfered, or let on, and did not let the other children make mock of him. Somehow, learning that had been more of an ease to the badly healed wound of his failure at the piloting tests than the cheerful and ruthless maneuvering of Cheever and all the rest to bestow on him the license he now held. That had been a victory of one kind. To learn of the care for him by his kin in this simple thing was another, more profound for being private.

Pat Rin thought that next time he and Natesa were to house, he would bring her here, and tell her some of its stories.

* * *


End file.
